"I Can’t Afford Gifts This Year"

My Rich Nerds,

Christmas is nearing, and I don’t even need a calendar to know it. I can feel it in the air—the elevated heartbeats, the quiet anxiety, and the intrusive thoughts wondering whether your Christmas gifts (and your budget) will be enough this year.

If that’s you, you’re not alone.

The cost of Christmas has skyrocketed. According to the National Retail Federation, Americans now spend around $890 per person during the holidays, one of the highest totals ever recorded, covering gifts, food, decorations, and seasonal extras. Even gift budgets alone hover around $750–$800 on average, despite people trying to spend less.

Meanwhile, wages haven’t kept pace. LendingTree data shows that 36% of Americans take on holiday debt, usually on credit cards they’ll be paying off months later. And it’s not just debt—about one in four Americans plans to work extra hours or pick up side gigs specifically to cover holiday expenses. Prices themselves are doing a lot of the damage: Bankrate reports that most gift categories cost more than they did just a few years ago, and Ipsos found that three-quarters of Americans are buying fewer gifts because of inflation and rising living costs.

But the worst part isn’t the gifts themselves. It’s the pressure behind them. The unspoken expectation that love must be expressed through spending. That if you don’t show up with boxes under the tree, you didn’t really show up at all.

Growing up, I was a sucker for remote-control cars and helicopters. Some of you probably asked for Mace Windu’s purple lightsaber under the tree just to be quirky. But looking back, I’d tell my younger self—and honestly, my parents too—this: gifts don’t replace connection.

You can have all the presents in the world and still feel unseen. You can have very little money and feel deeply loved. If I could trade a few gifts for more attention and presence, I absolutely would. Kids don’t remember price tags the way we think they do; they remember whether you were truly there and emotionally available. Funny enough, adults aren’t much different; sometimes, kids even show us what real presence looks like.

And if you do want to give something, it doesn’t have to be expensive to matter:

• A handwritten note.

• A home-cooked meal.

• A planned walk or coffee date that actually makes it onto the calendar.

For kids, especially, one intentional gift plus time beats a pile of random stuff every time.

This year, it’s okay to give YOURSELF the gift of enough. Enough confidence to say, “This is what I can do,” without guilt.

Happy Holidays!